Hitting rock bottom and then sinking just that bit lower. We as people sometimes need to do this, in order to process change, pain is our measure of resistance to change. I think in order to really appreciate the good times we sometimes need to take ourselves to our absolute polar opposite limit and beyond. It takes courage to come out of our pit of despair and face the world again because really it’s a very selfish place to be and doesn’t help anyone, least of all ourselves, but shit happens and we find ourselves there once in a while, feeding the black hole that can never be filled, being an energy vampire even though we don’t mean to be.
We cling to what we know, our emotions get stuck in one groove, something ghastly happens and we go for the death routine, catatonia or worst nightmare scenario again and again attracting this cycle of victim, poor me and more events that justify our mood swing. We can become addicted to our negative emotional cycles because we know them so well and feel safe in their release and enjoy the deep satisfaction that we are not giving ourselves from positive experiences. Like small children we are still screaming to get what we want and then protesting when we don’t get it. We make new worse experiences and end up living a life on the edge, because we have not yet learnt to live in the light and maintain it!
So next time our life is dealt a crappy hand watch out, be aware, if you see or feel the hole looming in front of you with all the trappings of all the other shit things that have happened all piled up in it. Know what is there and how much further in, you can dig yourself, basically feeling so bad or rotten, hurt, upset, angry, spitting venom or maybe panting in a panicky way, you know the score but lets just breathe deeply and slowly and look at the hole, study it for a bit, go round it but simply refuse to enter it. Let something else happen instead.
Tags: black hole, emotion